a curated collection of my words

Writing has been my best practice in processing the world around me. While I primarily write through poetry, I have included other forms of writing samples as well as details on my blog - Talk So Soon! - detailing my study abroad adventures from the Fall of 2024.

My hope in sharing these is that if you find yourself relating to my words, you are able to see that you are not alone.

OUR SOCIETAL SIN

How funny it is that there is a "standard" for beauty.

For as a society,

it is our duty

to create a strong culture

we will want to uphold.

Why is it then women are being told

their eyes are too small,

their chests is too flat,

their hair is a mess,

but don't wear a hat

because that is hiding.

Who is deciding, defining these things,

and why are we all listening?

We do not look at a mountain range and think to ourselves, "How very strange; they do not all look the same."

No one tells the grass to be blue,

nor the sky to be green.

Yet, of walking nature in between,

we demand so many things.

But at the end of the day,

it is our fault too.

For we choose to believe that these lies are all true.

How silly we are with such a narrow lends.

Limiting beauty - it's our societal sin.

THREE THINGS THAT ARE TRUE:

First, I miss you, I really do.

But here is the second thing that is true:

I am seeing my life without you now.

And I like it a lot… I love it somehow.

We were knit together while in the same place.

Stitches so tight holding us face to face,

Yes, we desperately needed this space.

Oh, time has a way of unraveling those seams -

our knots coming undone, loosening the weave.

I am detaching, and although that is scary,

I so very sure - you are not who I’ll marry.

I think fondly of you, and yet I still know,

I have to chose to let you go.

I refuse to take more of your time.

You have your world, and I will finally, fully have mine.

And if our paths cross, which I do expect,

I hope you know I plan to be direct:

“It’s good to see you,” I will say.

Quickly followed by, “Have a lovely day.”

For I am knitting something new,

this is the third thing that is true,

and I know I must do that, without you.

VICTIM MINDSET

We love to be the victim.

To point fingers until ours fall off

and lay dead on the ground,

Desperate bones,

still pointing at anyone passing by.

"Your fault!" they scream; they whimper; they sob.

"It's your fault, so fix it!"

(No one can, of course.)

“Make it right!" our souls plead as our fingerless hands bleed,

"You, because I cannot.”

"INTROVERTED"

The other day, my dad called me “introverted.”

I was so insulted.

The word continued to ring through my ears,

like the incessant, persistent hum of an alarm even after its stopped.

“Introverted. I am not introverted,” I tell myself.

“I love people! I have so many friends!

People call me the life of the party!"

"Introverted. That is ridiculous.”

But then again,

here I am

alone at the park

on a swing by myself,

and I am happy.

I like sitting here.

It’s cold outside, and there is a group of guys playing soccer or frisbee or some activity that requires a unified outburst every few minutes.

I like sitting here writing my thoughts.

And reading those of Rupi Kaur when mine become too slow or too dull or too true.

I love people.

Don’t get me wrong - there is nothing I love more than learning about a stranger.

But I suppose I consider myself a stranger too,

and I like learning about me.

What I learned today is that I guess I am introverted… sometimes.

IN MY MIND

I have not known silence in all of my life.

My mind spins thoughts all day and all night.

An immortal being in my head – loquacious as ever – if there were only an off switch, things could be better.

My focus is limited; my worries unbridled.

This being in my mind feels completely entitled

to waterfall fears all through my life.

And I have no able weapon.

Water is not stopped by a knife.

FULL OF PARENTHESIS

"I am."

No wonder God calls Himself that.

My "I am"s have caveats.

I am curious (most of the time).

I am talkative (sometimes).

I am energetic (often).

I am a good student (when I have the resources to be one).

I am the life of the party (when my anxiety is not in the driver’s seat).

I am grateful (when I choose not to compare).

I am critical (when I feel out of control).

I am a good communicator (when I know I will be heard).

But I am nothing all of the time - except human.

I am human. Constantly.

And He is God. Constantly.

Thank goodness for that.

THOUGHTS ON A TRAIN

Saying “I was in France” sounds big.

But living it is not big.

It's sitting on the train hearing people speak in many languages but still understanding their conversations because really we are all the same.

And lugging a backpack through crowded, hot streets saying, “Sorry!” then “Sorry in French!” and becoming angrier and angrier about the Tower of Babel.

It's waiting on the waiter in a restaurant

and putting on sunscreen

and missing Target and laughing at our 15,000 step counts

and becoming best friends with Google Maps

and falling asleep exhausted each night

but waking up early because I am in France!

And when I get home and tell you what I did,

you will say “Oh, how amazing!”

But it does not feel as big as it sounds.

A 21,623 IMAGE CAMERA ROLL

Click.

Now, I won’t forget.

I can see it again.

I was there. I can prove it.

Where is that picture?

Here look.

Look at my picture.

It looked better in person.

MY TRAVEL BLOG - Talk So Soon!

Click on the logo to the right to go to the blog!

While studying abroad in Lacoste, France this past Fall, I kept a blog of my travels. As someone who hopes to move to Copenhagen after school, traveling around Europe was an incredible experience that was invaluable creatively and personally. I cannot properly delineate how grateful I am to have gone.